i was broken. He was crying.

a new blog for new journeys

2010-06-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

for no real reason other than i just kinda wanted to, i am changing blog servers and therefore blogs. now seems to be a nice time with my flight to europe coming up TOMORROW, so from now on any that are following this pls instead begin to follow www.benfoley.wordpress.com

additionally, you can follow my WUCC team, Smurf, at www.smurfultimate.com

its been real. thanks for your support.
ben foley.

two she-bears??

2010-06-07T19:06:00.001-07:00

I would like to share with you my favorite bible passage. i first heard this story when I was in america, and I had arrived at my camp and all the leaders were going on a two day hike together to get to know each other. the first night we got together and were asked "would anyone like to share a devotion?" One guy, Chuck, volunteered, and asked us to open our bibles to 2 Kings 2: 23-25, and, in full seriousness, read out loud the following;

He (Elisha) went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys. From there he went on to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.
2 Kinds 2: 23-25, English Standard Version.

Now the obvious question that comes to mind is, what does this passage mean for us today?

Rubbish. The obvious question that comes to mind is, what the crap?! Wow, who knew.

mmmy greatest albums of all time

2010-05-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

In the wake of triple m's disastrous greatest albums of all time countdown (seriously, thriller at number 60?) I have decided that adelaide and the world is ready for my top 10 list of greatest albums of all time.
Although I have gone to great lengths to order these, as I was writing and listening I found it harder and harder to distinguish actual favorites. In fact, my number 1 album is probably the only one I'm definitely sure on. Time and memories plays tricks on my mind, but the music is still good. Get on it.

Let me start by giving two honorable mentions. The first of these is to the band mewithoutYou from Pennsylvania, USA. Although none of their 4 albums made my list, this band is still in my top 2 or 3 favourites ever, and only missed out because all their greatness is spread out over their first 3 recordings. A shame for this list, but means more great music for my listening pleasure. Check them out.

The second mention goes to Meatloaf's bat out of hell. This album narrowly missed the top 10, but gets a mention as it's the only album near my top end that made triple m's 100. What a masterpiece.

Now, coming in at number 10...

10. Dashboard Confessional - The places you have come to fear the most. Vagrant, 2001.
This was a really hard pick. For a long time Dashboard's MTV Unplugged live album has been a big favourite of mine, but I've never been heaps sure if this really counts; it's a live recording, and was it brought out by MTV or dashboard? I don't know. regardless, most of the songs from that recording come from this album. Chris Carrabba's raw sound (a theme that comes up a few times in this countdown) and emotional filled voice moves me every time and the beauty in some of these tracks has no equal. A definite must have for my collection.

9. Emery - The weak's end. Tooth & Nail, 2004.
Emery's debut album is unique in the most sensational of ways; there are no choruses. Although the sheer 'emo' of this album has left it a bit behind my current, 'more mature' musical tastes for years this album was my number 1. I love the idea that the artists had a message or a story that they really wanted to share, and didn't need to write catchy, chorus driven riffs to sell cd's or make number one's on the radio. If you have ever bought an artist's greatest hits album, especially from the last 10 years, you will quickly find that every song is very similar; they were made to sell. This album was made to scream something important to them, and didn't need to revert back to the same lines and repetitive sing-a-longs to get you feeling its' groove. A true work of art.

8. Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue. Capitol Records, 2003.
The pop-i-est album in my list, and breaks my general rules for what makes a good album, but special in it's own way; to me, this album IS summer. I can't say much more with contradicting statements already made, but I love the warmth and feel-good, get-some-sun-and-waves-into-you vibes this album is soaked in. Funnily enough, I've never attempted to listen or own any of yellowcard's other work; this is a one hit wonder for this band.

7. Anberlin - Never Take Friendship Personal. Tooth & Nail, 2005.
I was listening majorly to this album about the same time that emery and several other 'tooth & nail' bands become the top heard songs from my stereo. And like emery's The weak's end I have absolutely loved it and it has taken a long time for that love to die down. Since the release of this album Anberlin's 3 new records have all disappointed me; I don't think it's that they have changed overly significantly, but somehow this album just hit the mark. The artwork is perfect in itself, the songs flow together very well (though the ending leaves me wishing they cut it two songs shorter) and their mix of pop-rock but raw sound and lyrics comes together perfectly.

6. Dead Poetic - New Medicines. Solid State, 2004.
Although I have always loved this album I still surprised myself but leaving it in the list, let alone at number 6. But it works so well together. With great individual tracks and a great overall presentation, I have come back to this album again and again and still listen to it regularly. Probably fitting in the 'melodic hardcore' category, or somewhere similar, Dead Poetic have provided us with a catchy and melodic yet hard and emotional record.

5. Seraphs Coal! - The more things change... The Revolution Entertainment Group, 2002.
The only SA band making the list, this album changed the direction of my musical life permanently. Given to me for my 15th birthday by my older and wiser cousin, I lapped it up non-stop for longer than I can remember. For at least 3 or 4 years this was probably considered my favourite album ever, and if it wasn't for my new loves pushing it down it would still be up the top. A punk-rock driven sound, this local band has captured for me the heart of Adelaide christian music, good times and faith issues. Can't get enough.

4. dc Talk - Jesus Freak. Virgin Records, 1995.
Interesting fact; dc Talk stands for 'decent christian talk'. This is the first album I ever owned, and, as well as being one of the biggest selling christian albums of all time, starting a 'remember the martyrs' book campaign, and being musically far beyond their years, blew my flippin mind! The trio from the USA were real about faith, honest about problems and decent about music. No more cheap rap for them, this was hard hitting rock and rhythm, stemming from African American roots and capitalising on then modern day pop-rock. If you listen to any one christian album in your life, make it this one.

3. The Forest - Self-titled EP. L'oferve, approx 2006.
You have probably never heard of this band, and never will again. That makes me sad, as these boys (and girl) from townsville had a great thing going and, as far as I'm aware, have ended it far to soon. The 6 track EP is one of the greatest unsigned materials ever created. With a similar sound to mewithoutYou's first recording, they bring very raw rock, screams and emotion to the stage in a not-altogether-too-emo way. The artwork is one of the best I've ever seen, and the overall effect is of a musical masterpiece. Seriously check these guys out, their music is still online; myspace.com/theforestmusic.

2. Jimmy Eat World - Self-titled. Dreamworks, 2001.
Only as I reach the big end of the countdown do I realise how old all my favorite music is. Either nothing good is being written or I've stopped being able to find it. I think it's a bit of both. Anyway, this album is good enough to last me awhile yet. Unlike most of the above, 'poppy', 'catchy' and 'fun' are the first three words that come to mind. Thankfully 'original', 'honest' and 'lyrically beautiful' follow shortly. This album contains two of my favorite songs ever, "A praise chorus" and "If you don't, don't", the latter containing some inspiring poetry in motion that still gets my heart racing. You have probably already all heard this one before, but it's never to late to give it another spin.

1. Manchester Orchestra - I'm like a virgin losing a child. Sony BMG, 2006.
I cannot express enough how good this album is. Every individual track is a work of art, and the entire production a national treasure. Andy Hull is a truly incredible song writer, his lyrics and music moving me to a whole range of emotions and producing a beautiful yet deep cutting sound I can't turn away from. Seriously, this album has changed my life. And seeing them live in 2007 still stands as the greatest performance I have witnessed. I love this album.

on arrogance

2010-05-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

Please allow me to speak on arrogance. I feel that it is vastly misinterpreted and would like to share my views on the matter, as right or wrong as they may be.

If being arrogant was simply portrayed as the verbal description of one's own skills, than Jesus was probably the most arrogant person in the history of the world! Amongst so many other things, he was known to say that "I am the [only] way, the truth and the light. No one can get to the father except through me." In other words, I'm your only hope baby. And there were many other similar lines which I haven't bothered to dig up which are even more forward about how Jesus is flipping awesome, as spoken by Jesus.

But i don't think this is arrogance. Firstly, I think arrogance is a form of sin (which I'll save for another discussion if you disagree, but needless to say most people don't like arrogant people) and Jesus was without sin, therefore, not arrogant. Secondly, arrogance is not the same as knowing and sharing your own strengths (and weaknesses).

This topic is of importance to me because recently I've found that quite a lot of people consider me to be arrogant. I hate that. I don't think I'm arrogant at all; I work hard at valuing people above myself and I am very aware of my own weaknesses. On the other hand though, I am also very aware of my own strengths and, probably most significantly, I like myself.

I don't like myself because I am purely awesome (though in many ways this may be the case - not arrogant) or because I'm flawless, because as stated I know very well that I'm not. I like myself because Jesus has decided that He likes me, and made me valuable with this honor. I have not earned or been born into anything amazing, but Jesus has made me worthy of recieving his value and love, by giving me his value and love. Note that Jesus does this in full awareness of all the crap I do.

So now I don't determine whether I like myself based on my behaviour, my appearance, my friends, my skills. And yes all these things I strive to develop and perfect as best as I am able, but above and beyond all this I already like myself just for being me.

Another, final, point of note is that as well as all the above being true I like to be very frank. Honesty and openness in relationships is of incredible importance to me. The practical outcome of this belief is that I will often openly tell people when I think they are amazing (which the shrug off as flirting or sucking up or something) and openly tell people when I think they are doing something stupid (which they get all angry about and hate me for). Significantly, you should have taken from the above paragraphs that I don't like myself less for the crap behaviour I do. Similarly, I don't like other people less for the crap they do, so when I point it out it's not to cut someone down but either to sort it out or, in the right situation, for a laugh.

I would like all readers to understand that this is my approach, and acknowledge the value in it: relationships are easier and better understood, nobody ever hates anybody and everyone can always feel safer. I would also like all readers to understand that I treat myself the same way; I fairly openly point out and discuss my own flaws and successes.

Just please don't think that when I am doing the latter I am being arrogant...

kids don't get jokes

2010-05-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

i've decided that i'm going to try and write one blog here a week until i go to prague, and then hopefully keep people updated on my travels in europe. i decided that over a week ago. not a good start. oh well, one foot infront of the other...

so, i have a funny story to tell. to begin i need to make sure you know this joke, which i think i heard from joel pillar:

joke teller: what's faster, a horse or a piecost?

audience: what's a piecost?

joke teller: about $3.20!

insert laughter. hilarious. so i was working at OSHC and a 6 year old boy comes up to me and tells me that he has a funny joke, would i like to hear it: "hey ben, why the long face?!" um, are you sure your telling that right? he was sure. so i decided to tell him my piecost joke, and the conversation went something like this:

ben: what's faster, a horse or a piecost?

kid: (perfectly replies) what's a piecost?

b: about $3.20!!

k: nah, what is a piecost?

b: uh... its $3.20...

k: nah, what is it? like, is it some kind of vehicle or something?

b: ah, no. it's $3.20.

k: oh, ok... horse!

b: .... i..... uh.... yep, you got it.

k: yes!

what a hilarious conversation. it gets better. he turns to his friend and says "hey, whats the fastest thing, a piecost or a horse? A HORSE!" and burst into fits of laughter like it was the greatest joke in the world. anyway, the end.

a true story about sudoku's

2010-02-28T15:21:00.000-08:00

i wanted this story to be stand alone, but because i haven't blogged for so long there is some news i need to announce first: i am playing with an adelaide mixed ultimate frisbee club called Smurf at the world ultimate club championships in Prague, Czech Republic, in July this year!!

the club has been formed for about 2 years now with this goal in mind, and although i have wanted to play for them for a long time i hadn't previously been able to make the team (i was invited to fill in at the aus mixed nationals in 08, which would have been a step into the final team, but couldn't make the trip). The 'final' team was announced in september last year, which would be playing at the qualifying event in sydney early november (where they narrowly escaped being knocked out). I wasn't on that team.

finally, in february of this year, as they have started booking flights and finalising the squad, i was asked to join them on their campaign. And now that i have this reason/opportunity to travel I plan to spend quite some time in europe this year, which i am very much looking forward to. and now to my story...

one time i caught a plane with, amongst others, my friend BJ and he showed me this sudoku he had spent ages making on his last flight, and told me how on this flight he was going to do it. so he re-drew it with lots of numbers missing and starting working. at the time i thought this was a bit silly.
last week i was flying to melb and wanted something to do with my hands, so i thought "i know, i'll make a sudoku." so i did. it was surprisingly easy and satisfying. while i was making it i decided that when i finished it i would re-draw it with numbers missing and give it to the lady sitting next to me. i rehearsed this in my head; "excuse me, i made you a sudoku."
so i finished, i drew it up, and i said my line to the lady next to me. she said "sorry, my english isn't very good." so after i said it once or twice more and took it back to add some more letters cos it was 'too hard', i asked her where she was from.
The Czech Republic!
boom, that is exactly where i am flying too in june! more specifically, prague, which is where she (until recently) lived. the sudoku was temporarily put aside while we discussed what europe has to offer, what she recommended and etc etc. apparently i should definitely visit berlin; she hates it but everyone else thinks its the shiz.
eventually conversation dwindled and i left her to her sudoku.

The end.

more on money

2009-11-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

see my previous post first.

i often find myself spending too much money on things i dont want to be spending to much money on. it appears that my values and where i spend my money don't always align themselves in my head, and there are times when i want to value different things but keep investing money in other things. i think to fix this is to stop spending money on the things i no longer want to value (at all or as much), and start investing/putting my money towards the things i think worth while. it is a physical change that will help the mental/emotional one materialise.

in other words, if i want to change what i value i will begin by changing my spending on it. my external expression of my values will lead the change of my internal ones.

this is true for our faith as well. when discussing 'unclean foods' Jesus talks about how it is the things that come out of a man that show him to be clean/unclean, not the things that go in. it is the practical expression that proves the value, not simply what we claim. James says similar things when talking about faith - faith is dead without actions. This is not to say that it is through works we are saved, but if we don't have any works - if our faith isnt backed up by our action - then we have no real faith. we can say it all we want but it wont be anymore real than me talking about how much i love having a car; i havent put any money into that for years. it means nothing to me.

so, i will start putting my money where my mouth is - on the things i claim to love. and i will start putting my actions where my faith is - on the things i say are worthy.

lesson learnt.

the value of money

2009-10-27T20:22:00.000-07:00

or "the value of things as shown by our spending of money" but clearly this was too long a title. what i mean to say though, is that i have realised lately that what i spend my money on shows what and the level of what i value as important.
for example, in the last year or so i have probably spent in excess of $5000 on ultimate frisbee but, as my interest in the local and international music scene has slowly dwindled, probably less than $500 on music (including my trip to melbourne). this is starkly different from two years ago when the roles were closer to reversed. this year im not even willing to pay for a soundwave ticket, even with an oldschool favorite band making an appearance (oh yeah Aquabats, thankyou Christmas!).

the practical element of this, is that i have found that i can actually afford pretty much anything. its not money that is the actual issue, but whether i am willing to spend it. i am very willing to pour money into another interstate ultimate tourny, but have no interest in spending a similar amount on, say, a car. or new clothes. or eating out.

and i think this is the same for everyone; it is not so much an issue of affording it or not (though clearly everyone has limits) but whether you value it enough to pay the price it requires (both monetarily and sacrificially of other things). so now, if you tell me you can't afford to do such-and-such a thing with me, i will believe that you actually don't want to. thanks a lot.

i have more to say on this.

poem #3 (and 4)

2009-10-25T16:36:00.000-07:00

my friend eric is a man thoroughly obsessed with trains. i don't particularly like trains, so i wrote a poem to express this....

they're late.
the train is late.
there's no debate, it is their fate the train is late.

"but how?" you state
"do you correlate
such a train with being late?"
i'm telling you mate,
telling you straight,
the train, the train is always late!

if i could rate
it 1 to 8
where 1 is freight and 8 is late,
i'd give it 8
without hesitate
because my friend the train is late.

Don't negotiate,
i don't escalate,
nor manipulate.
i just demonstrate
the truthful state of the train being late.

"surely" you instigate,
as you watch your argument disintergrate,
"you must be mistake!
a train, a train is never late!"
do i need reiterate?
into your mind please intergrate!
your train,
your lovely precious train,
is... concentrate... ALWAYS LATE!!

also, it goes frustratingly slow and when its hot doesnt turn up at all.

on another note, my friend liz just recently wrote this haiku to prove her love for me:

i do not like beards
but i do like jenga lots
so i don't hate you.

poems are fun.

i run for the Lord

2009-10-06T15:46:00.000-07:00

the last three weeks have been very confusing and difficult for me. i had begun extensive training for several frisbee campaigns when my shins started to play up real bad. as in i can't run. and i have just come home from a tournament where i didn't play.

my first reaction at the time was to pray. and to seek out others that would pray for me. my frisbee is a huge part of my life and the biggest goals i have ever seeked in my life are ultimate teams i am trying to make for international tourny's next year. i have struggled a lot with how this affects my christain walk, and what God is asking of me through this (i considered components of this in a previous blog) and therefore want nothing less than to hand it all over into God's capable hands!

but i haven't been healed. at least not miraculously. i am definately feeling better now than i did 3 weeks ago, but in the last 3 weeks, as well as praying, i have seen the physio 4 times, did several beach and ice recovery sessions, stretched very regularly, been taking drugs, had massages, worn orthodics everywhere, been on massive bike rides and havent run at all. so i can't say for sure, or maybe even at all, that it has been God that has healed me. and i've had a lot of prayer to, from all the people i trust and love the most and from several churches. i've had hands laid on me and been annointed with oil. and i loved it. to some degree i felt God's presence in this, but i wasn't healed.

and i didn't play uni games. which means i've missed my first chance to be noticed for one of the teams i hope to make. and i also didn't make the other one.

that cuts a little.

so it would seem that a) i haven't been healed, b) im really confused as to why, c) i don't know what God wants from me and d) i am actively failing to acheive my frisbee goals that i have been trying very hard to make. this all upsets and confuses me a lot, and i dont have answers to anything.

this is my response. and i think the only response i can make, though some of you may see it otherwise. i now dedicate my running and my ability to run to God. i do it for Him and His glory. sure, right now it sucks and i dont know why He hasnt showered me with His blessings in this way, but that doesn't matter. i am who i am because of Him, and if life throws a spanner i will overcome it. and if He doesnt help me directly that means nothing, cos all that i am and believe are formed and shaped from His love for me and His making me worthy of that love. i did nothing.

so when i head to mixed nationals this weekend, whether i end up running or not, i will do my very best to honour him in the way i play, perform and relate. i thoroughly believe that God gave us all of creation and the ability to run, relate and play sport, and i will therefore give glory to Him by enjoying His gifts to me.

i got a haircut.

2009-09-13T08:47:00.001-07:00

the psychology of the hangover

2009-09-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

this is my revolutionary new idea about the psychology of the hangover.

previously i've always wondered why people keep being convinced (or at least convince themselves and others) that they had such a sweet night the night before, even though, or because, they can't remember a single thing that happened! how does that make sense?? wouldn't your night be so much better if you remembered all the awesome details? or if you had a crap night and wanted to forget... how does that make it a good night!? it was a good night because you can't remember it being a crap night?? thats stupid.

but now i think i get it. a hangover is like the pain your muscles feel the day after a really tough workout or physical work or sporting event - the worse your muscles feel, the bigger the pain in your body, the more you know you really gave it your all the day before! if i have just come out of a frisbee tournament and i DON'T feel sore, then i'm gonna be dissapointed. i'd feel like i didn't run hard enough, didn't play long enough, or generally just got soft.

this, therefore, is my conclusion on hangovers - the more you hate everything the day after, or the more your head hurts and you cant remember anything of the night before, the more you know that last night you truly 'gave it your all'. you must have (cos you dont actually remember) partied like crazy, cos everything sucks now! you truly made last night a night to remember, but unfortunately don't...

well done.

i still think it's stupid.

my least favorite thing that people do

2009-08-06T02:12:00.002-07:00

i suppose that it would come under lying, but it drives me nuts when someone says they will do something and then not do it. regardless of whether this is intentional or not, i hate it.

before i say anymore, i'll admit that there must be times when i do the same thing. i can't think of any right now, but i know they exist. i do know, however, that i put a lot of effort into trying my best not to. i even change my rsvp on facebook events appropriately, so that if it says i am attending, i will be there!

and that probably makes me even angrier - i feel like i go so far out of my way to not let people down and so many others don't seem to care at all. but the real issue for me is that i just don't understand it! why would you ever say you were going to do something if you can't/won't do it? if you say you will to get out of trouble, surely you will get in more trouble when you don't. and if you say you will to please people, surely they will be more disappointed if you don't. and if you say you will because you know that you should, surely, then, you should do it!

if someone can explain this to me, i'd love to hear it.

life would be so much better if everyone was more upfront with what they wanted to say/do/have. for sure, there is a degree in which discretion is somewhat advisable, but generally it rings true. if you can't/won't do it, please, just tell me upfront.

and that works for everything. if you have an issue with something i'm doing or done or said or whatever, i'd rather just hear about it from you so i can sort it out. don't bash me with your words, please, but let me know what i can do to make being rad friends way more fun. i guess i just like to have all the cards on the table.

i cringe when i watch chick flicks full of broken relationships, cos things just aren't sorted out properly.

going to see an orchestra

2009-07-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

they weren't really an orchestra, but they were called manchester orchestra. and they played in melbourne on monday night and i road tripped there with my sister, cousin, their partners and another lovely man. we alsot met up with two others. it was good, and i would like to tell you all about it.

firstly, i was in keith sunday night, so while everyone else had to get up at 5 i slept in till 8 and then got picked up on the way through. what a good way to start. also, i had just been given two crates full of bananas, apples and oranges, and had run out of money, so my plan for the next two days was to only eat bananas, apples and oranges (except oranges, which i don't like that much). it didnt happen exactly that way - i ate the occasional sandwhich someone else bought for me, and everyone else's leftovers, but i still ate a butload of bananas and apples. i counted 9 bananas on the monday. surely i am now the epitome of good health.

for some reason it always takes way longer to get into melbourne than i plan. we didnt get to our caravan park (our overpriced caravan park) until 4, and then trammed it into town to hit the shops - except we didnt get into town until 5, so most shops were shut. thankfully the sticky institute was open, and i bought some lovely zines. they are lovely. one was a survey of lots of different garage sale signs, and the other a story about a bird with lovely pictures. lovely lovely lovely.

then we had tea. we went to a sweet cafe on swanston that sold kebabs and burgers and stuff, and i had a toasted lamb sandwhich. now, don't let the name fool you. it was two bits of toasted bread, with lamb inside. that is all. thankfully others lent me salad (i'll return it someday i swear) so it ended up being quite a meal.

one of the ladies travelling with us decided she needed to use the ladies room (im going somewhere with this). while she was gone Andy Hull, the lead singer of manchester orchestra, walked out of the seven eleven next to our cafe. he had been buying smokes or something. i was facing that way and was the only one who saw him. my heart leapt a little bit, i choked out a "look, theres the lead singer of manchester orchestra" but cut it off halfway and decided to go with the "hey Andy!". he stopped ("hey sup") and i went and shook his hand and told him we were coming to the show ("cool") and that we came all the way from adelaide ("i came all the way from america") and etc. anyway, he had places to be so he moved on. we were all "wow, that was wickdogs! did anyone take a photo?" which of course no one had. then the other lady came back.

she didn't believe us, no matter how hard we tried to convince her it was true.

two other friends joined us while we finished eating. then we went to the show.

the opening act was a band called philadelphia grand jury, which i had looked up briefly before we left and decided that they were gonna suck. oh how i was wrong. they did the pretty catchy pop rock indie thing, with all their between songs talk pre-recorded, and all with very animated stage presence. in the last song (which was something like "we don't like to party, but the girl is gonna be there") we all thought it had ended when they started whispering the chorus. then the bass player trashed his gear, jumped all over the drum kit, tackled the drummer off his chair, got back up and continued drumming for him. it was entertaining. you had to be there.

then manchester played. this was simultaneously everything i ever dreamed of and a bit dissapointing. i don't know how much you know about manchester orchestra (or even if anyone is reading this blog) but they have released two albums: 'i'm like a virgin losing a child' a couple years back and 'mean everything to nothing' just recently, which is why they are touring. virgin is the greatest album ever. ever. everything to nothing not so much. i mean, it's ok, but manchester has lost a lot of their raw, honest edge and gone for more of a 'we are now rockstars' look, which came across strongly during their set. they still had sensational, powerful moments when their old songs (and some of the better new ones) where played, but generally they were trying to be more fun and less powerful, and i was slightly dissapointed.

i saw them once before in 08 in sydney, when they were only playing old stuff. it was the greatest show i had ever been to. that is not an exageration. they were supporting a band called 'clap your hands say yeah' and they sucked and i left halfway through their set. it was still very much worth going to (and paying a butload of money for...).

i spose another reason i was disappointed was that i psyched myself up for this show so much that no matter how good it was going to be it would still be at least a little bit disappointing. i think the first time you see anyband is always the best time. that was definately true for manchester, and i know was true for anberlin as well.
having said all this, andy's jokes and banter between songs was quite funny.

after mucking around a bit after (we had to get someone's gear from the train station, and then threw a frisbee for a bit) we caught the last tram back to our car at the tram station near our caravan park. yay for us, we caught the wrong tram, and didnt realise untill we got to the end. thanks to the miracle of modern technology (and that most of the people i was with had iphones) we were able to work out and make the 30minute trek to our car, through the suburbs of melbourne, at 2am.

on the way we went past an allnight kebab vendor, selling kebabs (yiros) out of a caravan thing. yum! me and another guy also decided to say dogs at the end of every sentence, and the new word of cool is 'wickdogs' - man, that was so good, it was wickdogs! eventually we got to the car, got to the caravan park, slept for three hours (i tried to tell jokes but the others kept yelling at me) and then headed home!

i got lost trying to get out of melbourne again. nobody else knows this yet. i did it in secret.... also, because of all the fruit i ate my farts where chronic. oh yeah, and on the way to keith i saw a dead kangaroo. all the photo's of my trip can be found here.
and that is the story of my trip to melbourne to see manchester orchestra.
the end.

safda mixed league predictions 2009

2009-07-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

tonight south australia's mixed ultimate frisbee comp begins, and it is all very exciting. there are 11 teams (4 flinders uni, 3 flycatchers, 2 adelaide uni, 1 ultimate evolution (ue) and 1 north adelaide ultimate (nau)) that will be divided into div 1 (6 teams) and div 2 (5 teams) after the first 3 weeks of games. these are my predictions.

picking each division is fairly easy. the only chance i'm taking is that i'm backing all flinders teams, including myself, over ue and nau. donna hay's game against nau tonight will be a big one in deciding this, with donna hay two strong players down already. the other big game that will be an influential decider for the divisions is ue v flinders: firepower. ue have a good lineup but often struggle to bring home the goods, while most of the flinders kids, although largely inexperienced, usually have the spark that gets them over the line. therefore these are my initial division standings:

div 1:
flinders: 7 wonders
adelaide uni rocky
flinders: donna hay and the cupcakes
flinders: firepower
restless flycatchers
flinders: try sarah's tops

div 2:
adelaide uni rambo
ue
flycatchers 1
flycatchers 2
nau

when finals time comes, i predict a flinders: try sarah's tops and restless flycatchers final. adelaide uni rocky is the other big contender, but the flycatchers line is just too strong, and a joel to brett connection in sarah's tops is almost unbeatable. firepower will give rocky a run for their money but they have to many inexperienced players that they will suffer for against the consistency of adelaide. donna hay and 7 wonders will have a tight game for 5/6th and this time i'm backing myself to lose, 7 wonders coming away the victor.

in div 2, ue SHOULD clean up, and i expect that they will. nau and rambo will fight to play ue in the finals, but i think rambo still have a lot of players needing a lot to learn, while nau have been playing together now for a long time. flycatchers 1 will have the edge over flycatchers 2.

final standings:
1. flinders: try sarah's tops
2. restless flycatchers
3. adelaide uni rocky
4. flinders: firepower
5. flinders: 7 wonders
6. flinders: donna hay and the cupcakes
7. ue
8. nau
9. adelaide uni rambo
10. flycatchers 1
11. flycatchers 2

mvp male will go to minh peart-tang or jordan powell.
mvp female will go to tessa bilney or mel tea.
ue will win most spirited team.
i am thoroughly disappointed ue didn't enter two teams.

if recruiting for Jesus was like recruiting for frisbee

2009-07-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

lately i have spent a lot of time recruiting players for ultimate frisbee. if i was going to be honest about it i would tell you that i pretty much recruited and trained the whole of sa's juniors team this year, and was pivotal in getting two flinders teams to the southern uni games that just finished in melbourne. its been a bit of work, but super rewarding and most enjoyable. also spiritually challenging.

how is it that i work so hard and so eagerly and so upfronterly (thats not a word. but what i mean is that i'll bring it up fairly bluntly without a second thought) about something as insignificant as frisbee and yet won't do anything more than occasionally pray when it comes to someone's salvation??

granted, a couple factors come to mind immediately: firstly, frisbee is obviously tangible and happening. God, apparantly, not so much. secondly, if more people play frisbee, i have more fun. the bigger and better fris is in sa the more i can lead and develop and play and be challenged and etc etc (there is also an ego thing involved). im not sure if this works for God or not. if i bring someone to faith i don't know what to do. it might even get awkward. thirdly, people accept me telling them to play frisbee. people don't if telling them to worship God.

but how does this mean i should act? surely the importance of faith far outweighs a couple of fears or societal norms. what i really want to know: is it blatantly wrong for me to put as much effort in bringing people to ultimate? in many ways, it is now one of my biggest priorities. it is often all i think about, and it comes up in conversation with anyone all the time, and i am eager in trying to convince almost anyone that its a good idea to start playing.

i should be telling them it is a good idea to start praying.

the obvious issue that arises from this for me (if what i have said already isnt enough), is am i letting ultimate become or be more important than God to me? cos if it is, i should stop playing. i CANNOT let something as relatively insignicant as throwing a disc around get in the way of my relationship with my Lord.

but i don't want to stop playing. i dont even want to consider that.
im told that not wanting to quit is the first sign of addiction...

i dont know if im looking for answers, im just asking questions: how can i ensure that God is kept foremost in my mind in all things while still enjoying and recruiting for frisbee? how can i prioritise the spreading of the good news over all other personal interests? and how can i do this in a way that isnt me trying to justify my obsession with the sport, but is actually me living a God pleasing, worshipful life?

to go back to my initial discussion, what if recruiting for Jesus WAS like recruiting for frisbee? this is what i think: i would tell EVERYONE i met how good Jesus is. i would explain what it means to follow Jesus and how rewarding it is. i would give them opportunities to discover Jesus for themselves in a way that is easy, safe and done together. i would often think about how to best do this and pray and train myself into a better person in all my spare time. i would not be dismayed if someone decided not to follow, but work harder on finding others, SEARCHING people out.
i currently dont do any of this.

pray with me.

a tribute to MJ

2009-06-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

the prince of pop, the king of caucasian, michael jackson died this morning and i am deeply saddened.
i know that we all react to this news in different ways, but anyone that isnt both shocked and wretchedly dismayed at the same time deserves the same fate as he has. michael jackson was both the most amazing pop artist that ever took to singing and the greatest dancer that ever hit the d-floor, not to mention a sensational family man... worst of all, he is probably one of the most widely known people in the world (or at least was 10 years ago) and was about to make a flippin comeback tour!!!

michael jackson, if you are somehow magically reading this (and you probably are cos no doubt you have more celebrity super powers than david bowie) i want you to know that i am deeply sorrowful at your demise, but i hope and pray that you have gone to a better place where you are truly respected and adored for the man that you are. your music has inspired and challenged me in so many ways, and for that i thankyou.

in the words of the greatness himself
"i've licked the salt, the bitter, the sweet
of every encounter, of passion, of heat
your riotous color, your fragrance, your taste
have thrilled my senses beyond all haste
in your beauty, i've known the how
of timeless bliss, this moment is now."
a man that enjoyed life to the full and didn't regret a moment of it. in the words of another great entertainer, he sucked the very marrow out of life!
remember me my friend when we meet in heaven.

and now where to from here? surely wearing a RIP MJ shirt while i go about my normal day to day business isn't enough. thankfully, he has left us a legacy to follow. a dream to see become reality. his voice was not and will not be left unheard. together we can unite under the one banner and seek to make this world a better place, a place worth living in! where people like MJ get a fair trial and where his kids get a fair education. where the sad and downtrodden can band together and sing his heartfelt ballads of hope and inspiration around the ol' campfire. where we can live in peace knowing that there still is hope for humanity. be confident knowing that even if the bearer has died his legacy lives on.
MJ, you will be missed. rest in peace.

"heal the world make it a better place
for you and for me and the entire human race
there are people dying if you care enough for the living make a better place"

poem #2 - for alison

2009-06-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

as far as i know the only person who is or has read any of my blogs posted here has been my good friend alison. i have also been meaning for some time now to write a poem for her (i've written several for our other friends already) and so think this is a perfect opportuniy to give it to her.

alison, a short disclaimer. this poem in no way is meant to be romantic or to earn your love. it is instead something i've have written to say 3 things - you are a beautiful person, we have done lots of rad things together which i have enjoyed a lot, i think you are awesome and appreciate you. i hope that it does this sufficiently. also, generally my poems sound a certain way in my head, so if you ever want me to read it too you just ask. oh, and im sorry if using your full name is bad, but it was a good rhyme. love.

the night is dark, i’m all alone sitting in my chair
my toes are warm, my face is hairy, i haven’t any care
i look outside and can’t see a thing but that is only fair

i think of things i’d like to say, words i’d like to speak
some are very honest and some make me look weak
but it’s not what i’m seeing but what i’m hearing that i seek

if you were here, oh Alison, i’d speak to you today
for there are many things i think to you i’d like to say
i would do it right away

we already talk and have talked a lot before
of news and the weather and many much things more
but if honesty prevails i admit these are a bore

thankfully that’s just the surface of the things that we have said
we’ve talked of paintings, pictures, music while sitting on your bed
and we were sure to say some more but fell asleep instead

please don’t forget the ukulele talks that we have had
comparing songs and new chords and singing really bad
but listening to you sing along, oh how that makes me glad

frisbee comes up quite a lot as we chatter on
who plays well, who plays bad, who can throw ‘the tron’
around sushi we have reminisced of all the things that we did wrong

on facebook we’ve considered monash queens and kings
and still other times when we have talked they have been of grander things
who knows what fruitful conversations that the future brings

for there are many other things to you i’d love to tell
of banana cake i failed to bake i did not do it well
and my friend’s three old surfboards that i am trying to sell

more important still something i must express
God thinks you are beautiful this i do not guess
i suppose that since He made you He would know this best

but now as i still sit and reflect on things i’ve thought
i realise that you’re not here, alone i have been caught
so instead of sitting thinking i’ll do something of a different sort

i’ll gaze outside into the sky and look at all the stars
if one of them is red it probably is mars
if they move along the ground then they are likely cars

and though it’s cold, very quiet and the night is dark
please know that all those i thought to think you have left a mark
you are lovely and i love thee, my wondrous Alison Clarke.

poem #1

2009-06-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

ok, so i won't deny it, i try and write poetry. its not necessarily very good (you can judge that for yourself) but its something i like to have a go at. i've written a few, and i'll prob post previous ones over time, but at the moment here is one i wrote recently.

i dont want to explain it, but i will say that in all or at least most of my poems i put myself out there a bit, allowing myself to be vulnerable. this poem here is definately one of those. i hope you dont hate it.

i was broken and all alone,
lying on the street, in the dirt,
totally unworthy, undeserving of love,
the sky was menacing and dark above.

princes and kings and queens walked by
ignoring my whimpering requests.
they looked away as i begged aloud,
i was nothin, a filthy face in the crowd.

my clothes were soiled with blood and guilt,
my soul was dirtier still.
i didn't deserve the help i seeked,
what a lie; "blessed is the meek".

a Man stopped as He was walking by
and looked me square in the face.
He smelt of something beautiful, strange and unknown,
ashamed i turned to be alone.

He stooped and held my face in His hands
and then embraced me with His love.
i was unworthy, alone and dying.
i was broken, He was crying.

guy love goodbye

2009-06-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

i spose i could write a dramatic piece on our culture's different thoughts on affection between males - how things like holding hands is considered totally gay between guys but nice between the ladies, or how, on the flip side, society is asking guys to be nicer and nicer, more and more feminine, slowly destroying our manhood. boys aren't even allowed to play with sticks anymore, and that distresses me a lot (i've also started using words like distresses, which i consider to be a very feminine word).

what i really want to portray here, though, is my grief over the leaving of my best friend. his name is Joel, and he has moved to canada.

at my 21st Joel said that our relationship can be best described by comparing us to a married couple. i like to think that it is similar in many ways to that portrayed by turk and j.d. we're not gay, we just love each other very much.

Joel, i'm really gonna struggle without seeing you, holding you, praying with you, surfing with you, being naked with you and singing with you. in particular the praying one. you have been a real encouragement, challenge and support to me over the years, especially in the last 12 months or so as we have really grown together. i have gone through a lot of changes and loved having you with me through all of that.

but now your gone. i cried a little bit when you left. i just want to let you know a little bit of how much you mean to me, which is a lot. and to anybody else that may ever read this, i hope that you too can have a relationship that is as enriching and rewarding as ours has been and definately will continue to be while we are apart and when we see each other together in the future. don't act all macho and call me gay; not having some guy love and loving another man is for fags. be comfortable enough with your self to appreciate the intimate input of others in your life and, if you need to, be willing to hold them.

love you brother. praying for you everyday.

enjoying the mundane

2009-06-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

i just watched a movie. it was called you and me and everybody else, or something like that. one of those arty movies where nothing much happens but its more about the story telling. i generally find these types of movies kinda... degenerative (sp?). as if while watching them i am letting my life slip away. which is interesting because it is generally movies like this that make me want to grasp life by the throat and enjoy every gurgle i get out of it. (the imagery is a bit angry like on purpose)

there was one particular scene where a kid was simply sitting by the window and watching outside. i never do that. im to busy doing stuff to enjoy myself to bother wasting time letting it happen. and when people ask me 'whats new?', i never have anything to say. loads of things are new!

today i ate a spinach roll. i've never done that before. i also ate a hot dog without bread and yesterdays curry for breakfast - again, a totally new experience. i was in a pawn shop looking for zombie movies and i found my friend. we then caught the train together and talked about eating disorders and how all our friends should sit in the front carriage (that way, if ever two of us catch the same train we will see each other). then, when i got off the train, my other friend got off from another carriage (proving my point). THEN as i was talking to her ANOTHER friend walked past, having just got off the same train even further back along the carriages. and then tonight i saw a nintey year old painted black and white photo of my friend's great great grandma from poland (i think). thats a whole load of adventures that i had already completely forgotten about untill i started writing this. i also forgot to cut my toe nails.

the other thing i liked about this movie (i'm sticking with the positives here) is watching the different ways people react and respond to other people. in life i only ever see how i react to people, or how people (seem) to react to me. i never get the full picture. thats why i like that in movies. sociology is my favourite subject at uni, because people are fun.

well, i at least like them.

who is the fole?

2009-06-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

swotvac is probably my least favourite time ever, as this is the time when i have loads of work to do but absolutely no motivation to do it. instead, i spend my time eating pasta and reading ultimate frisbee blogs online. this has inspired me to start a blog of my own. i will probably promptly give it up, only time will tell.

i have a lot of things that, if sufficiently tempted, i will write about at some point. i think it proper, though, to first explain where the name 'the fole' comes from but as yet i am unsure how to go about this without embarrassing myself to the whole of the ultimate frisbee community, if ever they read this. screw it, being embarrassed is good for you.

arguably the world’s greatest player to ever throw a disc is a melbournite named Tom Rogacki, or, ‘The Gack’. so the story goes that at nationals this year several of us were leaving the fremantle jail and what we considered to be the most disappointing party we’d ever attempted to enjoy. i’m sure we all had our reasons but i personally just don’t enjoy the drunken raves of ultimate unless i have confidence near those of the perth boys in their mankinis (sp?). i made a similar statement out loud, something to the tune of “i’m never gonna enjoy these things until i’m heaps good and everyone knows me and starts calling me ‘the fole’” (which is an obvious adaptation of my last name, foley, to the same format as the gack’s nickname). the others thought this hilarious and Sweet As begun immediately, using it excessively during the drive back to the hotel. i thought nothing of it until i arrived at the fields the next morning to be greeted by “the fole has arrived!” by people i hadn’t seen since game time yesterday. for the rest of the day ‘the fole’ jokes were made non-stop, and on return to adelaide one of the karma boys promptly set up a facebook page in my, or more accurately, the fole’s honour. the name has since stuck, and thats the story of the fole.